Demigods Vs Zombies!
by ApocalypseKyuubi
Summary: You thought this was an apocalypse story? HAH! Nope! The Argo II crew discovers Plants Vs. Zombies, and get addicted to it. Watch their stupidity and craziness. -Edited slightly, shoved Nico there for the heck of it-. *T for Nico's perverted Kankri speech*


**Hello, everyone! I'm back with another story, this time with a Parody/Humor story! In which the demigods discover Plants Vs. Zombies, a strategy game. Now, they're so dumb, that they actually thought it would help them with strategies for against Gaea. Unfortunately for them, it didn't. I would like to say thanks to Stonecobra, one of my friends on the forums who basically came up with half of the story, and she beta-read it. So, yeah. We've got to thank her for making this story even more brilliant. xD *epic applause for Stonecobra* **

**One last message, this was made for entertainment purposes. And I/we have no idea what we wrote here, so most likely a bunch of nonsense. **

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN PLANTS VS. ZOMBIES, RAO, LILLY SATOU, FRENCH VANILLA BLACK TEA, SECRET TUNNEL, SNAPE, VOLDERMORT, AMON, TUI AND LA, YUE, PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS AND OTHER SHIT THAT IS MENTIONED HERE THAT ISN'T MINE. ALL RIGHTS GO THEIR RESPECTIVE CREATORS. THANK YOU.**

**The story is AU/AND THE CHARACTERS ARE SO OOC IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY. BUT THEIR PERSONALITIES DO BEAR SOME CONNECTIONS TO THE REAL CHARACTERS' PERSONALITY. **

**EDIT: I decided that I am going to edit this story around a bit, gonna add Nico in, and shove an Okami reference here somewhere. Because Okami is the best game ever.**

**Hope you enjoy! :P**

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**Title: Demigods Vs. Zombies**

**Date Written: Like fucking last night or some shit.**

**Genre: Parody/Humor**

**Characters: All of the Argo II crew (and Nico.)**

**Beta-read by: Stonecobra.**

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"Dude-dude-dude, use the Squash! The zombie's coming through! I wish I was fatter… I could've eaten that squash. It would've been very delicious…Especially with ketchup." Frank commanded, pointing to screen rapidly before going back to lurking and musing about his food obsession.

"Thanks, Frank! And no, don't eat the squash! We need it!" Jason yelled, staring at the screen with wide, bloodshot eyes as he was trying to do a bunch of things at once.

Piper scowled as she stared at the screen intently, before throwing her hands in the air melodramatically, "Ugh! Those Football Zombies! Jason, use that Chomper behind the Tall-Nut!" She called, as she leaned towards the monitor.

"I know, Piper! Just wait!" Jason called back, clicking on a Pumpkin seed packet and dragging it over towards the said Tall-Nut, completely ignoring Piper's advice.

Piper's face quickly turned into a deep shade of red, one that is not known to humanity, but is known on Alternia, "YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE THIS, JASON! TAKE MY ADVICE OR ELSE! I DIDN'T HAVE MY COFFEE TODAY, SO DON'T MAKE ME USE MY MOON POWERS ON YOU!" She screeched at him, glaring at him with those creepy, sharp, stressed-out yet beautiful kaleidoscopic eyes.

"Okay, okay! Jeez…" He raised his arms in defence, only to be responded with a bunch of screeches and yells from his crewmates and immediately he went back to the game.

"You're not Yue, Piper! Shut up! Hmm… Shut up actually sounds like a type of very delicious chocolate…" Frank chided her, making a 'tsk' sound as he did, before going back to his creepy food fantasies.

Percy decided it was the best time to make one of his stupid comments, scratching his chin in thought, "Or is she? WHAT IF TUI AND LA HAD A BABY AND THAT WAS YUE WHO WAS PIPER ALL THIS TIME?! WHAT IF SHE'S AMON?! OR WHAT IF SHE'S VOLDERMORT?!" He yelled melodramatically, with his dramatics rivalling Piper's.

Frank rolled his eyes, putting a hand on his hip while snapping his fingers in a 'z' formation, though he wasn't offended in any way, actually, "Shut up, Percy, Piper isn't Amon or Voldermort. Now that I think about it… Voldermort sounds like a type of mayonnaise. Ketchup is better, though." And with that, he went back to his food fantasies.

Percy tapped his chin a couple of times in thought, though he wasn't making any progress actually, "If she isn't one of them… THAT MUST MEAN SHE'S SNAPE!"

Frank scowled, "No!"

Percy tried to guess again, to no avail, "Karkat?"

Frank shouted at him, clearly angry with Percy's unbelievable stupidity, "NO!" And with that, they got into an argument about what Piper's true identity was.

Leo on the other hand, was cheering like a cheerleader as he excitedly watched Jason play, "Cob Cannon, baby!"

Everyone glared at him, "SHUT UP, LEO!"

Nico just sat there quietly, watching Jason play the game, he stared at the monitor. _Stared_. He didn't blink, he just stared at the game dully, when finally he could take no more. He mustered up the courage and finally sighed, "Hey, guys? Do you ever wonder why there are no female zombies? I mean, seriously. It's just ridiculous. They don't have to be so sexist. Just put a female zombie in, it's not that bad. I mean, they changed the Michael Jackson zombie into that ugly 70's dancer, why can't they change some zombies to females? I can't get my eye-candy from this. Do you think if they did change it, the females would have the bust of Rao? That girl literally has melon mountains stacked up on her chest. Not that I am complaining, though. I share Issun's pure opinion, she is pretty hot. But anyway, yeah."

Everyone stared at him blankly, except Jason, who was trying to concentrate on the game and not laugh maniacally at Nico's perverted Kankri speech. The boy talks like that troll, and it gets kind of annoying from time to time.

With that, they went back into their mini-arguments and watched Jason play the game quite horribly.

It was only just yesterday that the Argo II crew, and Nico, have discovered Plants V.s Zombies, a strategy-planning addictive game. As of now, Jason Grace is playing the game, Survival Endless; a very HARD, harsh level, like Touhou-lunatic hard. The demigods had to find that out the hard way. They heard many positive things about this game, and decided it would be a good way to train their strategy for the war against Gaea.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the humongous ship, Hazel and Annabeth sat at a random couch, chatting between themselves as they eyed their crewmates, with the former rubbing her temple with an ice cube, after getting hit by Percy by accident with a wooden structure representing the 'Master Sword', built by Leo. Why that was built, no one actually knows. All they knew, or didn't know, was that it hurt to get hit by it.

Wincing in pain and scowling with annoyance at the same time, Hazel threw down the little plastic bag filled with slowly melting ice cubes on the coffee table Leo built not too long ago.

Speaking of Leo, he was running around the room, yell-singing "SECRET TUNNEL!" over and over again, before stopping suddenly as he realized something, "Wait, I forgot the rest." He pouted slightly before walking back over to the group.

Annabeth, who was drinking tea for some reason with grace that rivalled Lilly Satou's skills, set the cup down on the coffee table, as she leaned on the arm rest of the chair, glancing at the Plants V.s Zombies addicts at the other side of the room.

She finally sighed, leaning back on the couch, "Is the game really that addicting, or something? It looks really fun, but I don't think it's fun enough to be on level of obsession like heroin." She explained her point shortly, waving her hand around, making motions as she spoke.

Hazel scowled as she wiped away some of the sweat on her forehead with a small towel, as with every gentle contact it burned in pain, "I-don't-know!" She panted heavily, throwing the towel at the coffee table in disgust, slumping back over the couch. Before she sat back in a normal position and deciding to try again, "I mean, I don't know, actually. The game has this little spark of attraction that is so passionate, and just beautiful. Kind of like French vanilla black tea, just a little spoon of sugar there, boil it at the perfect temperature, use the right tea packet, give it a little spice, and voila! Kind of like that, y'know? Also, bowties. Bowties are cool."

Annabeth blinked blankly, trying to process the meaning in Hazel's words that made absolute no sense. She just stared at Hazel, before deciding to find something else to focus on.

That something else, unfortunately, was running around the ships, singing cheerfully, "There's a zombie on your la-a-awn, there's a zombie on your la-a-awn!"

"SHUT UP, LEO!" Everyone literally screeched at him, to which he blinked blankly and pouted, before going back to running around circles like a confused little puppy who is obsessed on heroin.

Annabeth decided to facedesk, as there was no other way to escape this mad house. With a hard slam, she hit the coffee table with her forehead, ignoring the small amount of pain sprouting around in her temple. This was a good way to relax; she could concentrate on this and not on them… She sighed, clearly relieved she could calm down even by a small second…

Only to be interrupted.

"NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O! I DIED! I CAN'T BELIEVE THE ZOMBIES ATE MY BRAINS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jason cried so dramatically, as he fell down on his knees and quietly sobbed, while the others didn't pay any attention to him, arguing about their own concerns.

Except Leo.

Leo, suddenly stopped on his run in the centre of the room, before gasping excitedly,

"I remember the next part!" He chirped gleefully, "AND DIE!" He sang the last part in a low tone which sounded really terrible, considering this was Leo; who can't sing in low notes. He laughed maniacally and kept running around in circles, with more energy than before.

Some things never change… Except your win in Survival Endless, but you never win. Jason had a small feeling Nemesis secretly designed that game.


End file.
